Another Memory Before It's Gone

In the original "Star Trek," everything was photographed. Whenever someone wished to recall an incident, there were always the tape banks, from which a video, even outside the starship, could be watched.

If life were like that, I could pull a tape from the tape bank and review my childhood and all the exciting events I would like to show my progeny.

Unfortunately, my tape bank is faulty, and I can remember very few of the events I would like to share.

I remember when my high school football team played Appalachian High School in Boone, North Carolina. I was in the band. Our band director, Mr. Roy Russell, would never let a band member leave the stands until after the half-time activities – then only one person from each section. On this particular night, my friend Max, first chair clarinet, and I took our break together as usual.

Another one of Mr. Russell's quirks was that band members must be in complete uniform at all times unless they were on the bus.

Max and I were in full uniform in the restroom when a boy who appeared to be about 12 or 13 came in. He looked at us and almost snarled, "Elkin sucks."

Max and I had both expressed that same opinion, but somehow, coming from this junior yosef, the comment angered us.

Before you could say, "Far below the Blue Ridge Mountains," I had grabbed the young miscreant, inverted him sharply, and dunked his head into a nearby commode.

My actions were juvenile, rude and totally without class, but they evoked laughter from everyone in the john except our young wet head.

Shaking his head angrily, the boy almost shouted, "I'm going to get some help and we'll whip your (vulgar word deleted)!" This made me laugh more.

Max and I remained in the restroom about ten minutes, enjoying a smoke. Just as I was tossing the spent cigarette into a nearby urinal, the door burst open and my young antagonist rushed in.

"Now you'll be sorry. I've found a big guy to whip you!" He shouted.

Immediately behind him his new ally rushed in. We stared at one another and then broke into uproarious laughter.

In his zeal to find someone who would beat me limb to limb, the young mountaineer had enlisted the aid of a man home on leave from the Air Force – my big brother, Seth.

We all had a great laugh over this except, of course, the young lad with ice in his hair.

I'd like to see that memory on tape.